lorishope’s blog

This was forwarded to me, it is worth sharing with everyone

To: You

What if this was "the day"?  What if this is the day you've been waiting for?  The day when it all comes together.  The day you get along perfectly with those around you.  The day you feel good about yourself.  The day you feel divinely connected with your spirit every step of the way.  The day you feel emotionally grounded and yet soar spiritually.

If you knew this to be true, how would you approach such a day?  What would be your expectations? 

This IS that day.  This is the day that will be a template for all happy and successful days yet to come.  This is the day that raises the bar for every area of your life.  This is the day that will be the standard by which the rest of your life will be measured.

This is it!  They say every dog has his day and this is YOUR day.  Enjoy it.  It will be a shining example to remind you of what great days will be like for years to come.

Love,
God

I have a better attitude today. I am at my salon and even though I don't have any customers today I am enjoying this alone time. There will always be time to be busy here at the salon. Today I painted my toenails, cleaned my station, did my hair, gave myself a waxing, listened to some beautiful music and read a few magazines. I need to make it a point to take a day like this now and then. I love how quiet the salon is today, relaxed, peaceful! If anyone walks in today for an appointment, I am not going to take them today. I needed this!

I was just reading about perfectionism in physiology today, a magazine I subscribe to. I could relate to some of what I read. I have a desire to make everything perfect around me. I try to please everyone and often end up with many fueled attempts to make everyone happy around me, but me. I am trying to learn what my own strengths are in this life. I need to be true to myself for a change. Live up to my own standards not the standards of someone else or the world around me.

I live with the enemy

The enemy is the lie

The lie is hurtful

The hurt makes me cry

I cry for many reasons

The reasons make me sick

The sickness is contagious

Spreading to my kids

My kids feel the anguish

The anguish makes them mad

The madness is how they cope

That fact makes me sad

My sadness is the reason

I cannot take another day

This day is just a season

This season will pass I pray

I lost my focus for awhile

It almost left my site

I learned the hard way

Long days, sleepless nights

Putting myself first

Has never been my style

I let it be my curse

Hating myself all the while

Now I see the light

I must love myself first

Letting go of the fright

Throwing away the curse

How can I trust you when I do not trust myself?

I listened to your lies for years

Then put them on a shelf

I could not stand up to you

For my life was not my own

You took my innocence

With it grief was sewn

Your bitter words

My lonely heart

Somehow, I know

I need a new start

It is time to trust myself for I am sick of your game

Take your ugly lies

For what you say is lame 

Looking for meaning in a shallow world

Wanting to carve out something of substance

Willing to let go of old huts

Transformation is in the works

Days of constant contemplation

No longer believing the vile lies

Time for regeneration

Not willing to let lost days go by

Establishing newfound courage

Challenging myself to take a stance

Knowing that it is time to flourish

Giving myself another chance

Lately I have been doing some necessary work on myself and thinking a lot about my life and what my goals are for today and ultimately the future. I have been stuck in a rut of constant worry about things that I really do not have any control over. I am sick and tired of being unhappy with the way things have been going that I am ready to quit complaining about it and do something about it. I started going to therapy a few months ago and it really is helping to put things into the right perspective for me. I am in a situation that most people can relate to that I do not need to elaborate on except to say that I can make the choice to be happy regardless of the situation. I have let myself be trapped inside the walls of the situation so I am breaking free. I may sound like a broken record but it is a constant fight every day not to let the whole I am in suck me in. Most days I do well at looking at the positive but there are still days that I feel powerless to escape it. It is not one thing in general that is bringing me down, it is my life as a whole and the way I have been handling things. I hide behind my upbeat disposition but the darkness inside is always there. I will not let that darkness take over my life. I will not stay in the paralyzed state I have been in. My battle is not only about myself it is more about things I cannot control. As I have said many times before and will say many times again, I am not giving up, I am letting go.

Here it is Thursday and I have had the kind of week that has not gone according to my plan. I think this is a little lesson for me in how I cannot control everything and most certainly not the weather. The week started out with having to postpone a trip to Michigan’s Adventure from Monday to today because the weather was not cooperating. I changed my appointments at work so that I could have today off. Now today we cannot go because the weather is not suitable for a day at the water park. It is one of life’s little annoying lessons that I believe sometimes we need to show us that there is a time for everything. It must not be the time for fun in the sun at the awesome water park. Now we have decided to postpone it to Monday and all we can do is wait and see what that day will bring. Now I just have been invited to go to the lake today by my nieces because my Niece Amber is having a first birthday party for her son Carter. To me a day at the lake when it might not reach 70 degrees is not reasonable. However, my nieces believe that they can make the best out of any situation. There might not be any swimming today, yet they sure intend to have a good time no matter what they do. Instead of swimming, they are bringing baseballs, footballs, games and food. It reminds me of a time when I use to have that kind of lighthearted spirit where I was up for anything. I think of how much different I was when I was 20 then I am today. I would like to believe I am still the same but life’s circumstances certainly have changed me. I still try to look at the bright side in every situation but I also have given up on some of that part of myself. It is a struggle that we all go through from time to time. I do believe we can make a choice to change it if we want to. I was recently told by a wise source that I have a choice to let life happen to me or to make my life happen. I feel that is a deep statement that has taken up some space inside my mind but it is worth taking some time to think over. Today may not be the day that I planned it to be. Today the wind is blowing me in a different direction that is not in my control. Today I am going to be enthusiastic about whatever the day brings. I am going to break through the invisible barrier that has been holding me back bringing my life true fulfillment.

I believe life is always changing. Everything happens for a reason, even if we may not like it we might as well embrace it because we cannot change or control everything. I believe that the people that you love the most can also be the ones that hurt you the deepest they also can be the same ones that bring the most joy to your life. I believe in love and commitment yet I also believe in certain circumstances there is a time for change and letting go. I believe that children should stay children as long as they can because this world is harder when we get older.

I wish I could live through the eyes of an innocent child so the world would not look so tainted and I would be more open and trusting. Some people will come into your life and some will go. The ones you thought would be there may be the ones that walk away without a second look. Others will surprise you with their loyal devotion and unconditional love. I believe the past can haunt you if you let it. Think of the past as a tool put away in the toolbox of life. Put the tools away until you need them. Every tool has a purpose. Yesterday they built the foundation of your life. Today they are used for learning from and making your life easier and tomorrow they will still be there if you need them. Use the tools wisely, because not all tools are created equal. Some are to overpowering for everyday use.

When I was just a little girl there was a place in our backyard that I loved to sit and play. Sometimes when my brothers or sisters would be bugging me I would go there and hide. That special place was underneath the lilac tree. Last week I was walking through the mall with my two boys and I smelled the fragrance of Lilac and it brought me back to that place. It is like when I hear the song Lady in Red it always reminds me of my prom.

I don’t have a lot of memories from my childhood but lately I have been reminded of a few. I will never forget the look of surprise on my beautiful Mothers face when I would bring her a bunch of flowers from that tree. She would look at me with love and smile the biggest smile I have ever seen. I knew she loved the way they smelled because she would make a sound of pleasure as she sniffed them she never grew tired of seeing me come through the back door of our home with my gift. I never grew tired of seeing the look on her face when she accepted them or the hug she would give me to thank me. It didn’t matter to her that she didn’t have a fancy crystal vase to put them in any cup would do. She would instantly grab them up and put them in the middle of the table for everyone to see and appreciate as much as she did. I loved that Tree!

Today I have decided that sense I don’t have a lilac tree in my own backyard I am going to make my blog my lilac tree. It will be my place to reminisce. It will be my place to vent and share stories. It will be my place to escape the pressures of the day. I believe we all need an outlet to help us get through difficult times or to just let it all out. Sometimes it may be the excitement we feel when we witness one of our precious children achieve new a new goal. Sometimes it may be we just need to forget about our bills for a minute. Whatever the reason may be it is worth taking some time to think about making one of your own. I have a pretty good life compared to all the suffering in the world. I do have days when I can’t seem to understand my husband and the choices he makes but that isn’t about me. Or days when my kids rob me of my time and sanity. Yet the fact of the matter is I can’t let one part of my life that may not seem right at the time define my entire life or who I am. What I can do is give it to my Lilac Tree.